School has begun and with it comes new social adventures for your child. Some good (cool girl sitting next to me!) some nasty (new boy kicks my chair and smirks).  They may be cut adrift from last year’s buddies and tackling the beginning of new friendships.

If you want your child to have an easier time getting along with classmates and teachers, a little etiquette will accomplish amazing results. It sets the bedrock of empathy, appreciation and acceptance. The positive attention your son or daughter gives to others will become a habit that lasts a lifetime.

Now, I truly doubt that your children will be nagging you to learn etiquette!

You: OK kids, you’ve been bugging me for weeks and the big day is here! Let’s finally learn some etiquette!

Children: Yaaaaay!

If this is a conversation that would NEVER happen at your house, you are with good company. The best way to get your child’s attention is to notice what he talks about when he describes a social situation; Then give him some tools to help.

Here’s a light-hearted script of how it might go:

You: Do you feel a bit nervous in new situations? Like the first day of school?

Child: Yes, I barfed in the car.

You: What does it feel like when you are  nervous? (the list might include blushing, feeling sick to your stomach, sweaty palms, dry mouth etc.)

Child: I guess I was nervous.

You: We all get these feelings. Why do we feel this way?

Possible answers – We don’t want to be embarrassed. We want to say and do the right thing and fit in.

How do manners help? Manners give you  tips that you can use in new or awkward situations. They make sense. They smooth out all the little tense moments you run into – like saying hello, goodbye or talking to others. You don’t have to figure out what to do and say all the time. You just think of your manners.

Child: I sure would like a friend. Tell me more, wise parent. What a fantastic Mom you are!!!

Drop this conversation at the right place and time – timing can be crucial – and you will get through. They do want to know how to get along and you are the person to help them!